A relationship is placing one’s heart and soul in the hands of another while taking charge of another in one’s soul and heart. ~ Kahlil Gibran

Good relationships are made up of more than just a physical attraction. Physical attraction often drives us to approaching someone with hopes of getting to know them on a more intimate level. With the initial conversation you will begin to get a glimpse into the persons personality and kinda feel them out to see if it is something worth pursuing. We must understand that this person has had prior heartbreaks, struggles and issues that you wouldn’t possibly know about. This person has probably experienced being alone, being lied to or being abused in a relationship. Initially that physical attraction can be stronger than your willingness to learn more about the person and you end up sleeping with him/her and afterward realize that you made a huge mistake. Your heart, mind and body are so precious and must be protected at all times. Once you give someone a part of your heart you are trusting that they will protect it as if it was their own. Why is it always a rush to sleep with someone when you can wait and make a deeper connection that will make the intimate moments much more satisfying. Too many of us set low standards and walk around with self-respect and then we look for someone who provides temporary satisfaction instead of realizing that you are a wonderful person and deserve a person who can knock your socks of mentally and physically.

~Nisha Yvette (inspired by Acts of Faith by Iyanla Vanzant)

Can you really fall in love with a person with your first encounter? Is there really a short naked man running around that we can’t see shooting people in the ass to make them fall in love on sight? Many may argue that if there is a strong physical attraction to someone upon the first meeting that there will be sparks but it will be more lustful than love. It could be his eyes that draw you in or his ability to make you laugh at a time when you have been searching for that man with a great sense of humor. Is there really a person out there that will make the angels sings and the violins play? Or is it that some of us want to be in love so bad that we trick ourselves into thinking we are in love. Being in love goes far beyond physical attraction but physical attraction is sometimes what starts the initial fire. However, I’ve heard stories of men and women who fell in love over the phone so in hindsight it was really love at first conversation. I believe that you can fall in love with someone in so many ways that you really can’t pinpoint and event or time frame that will tell you when you should be in love. Love is more than just a connection…it’s a bond, it’s trust, it’s communication, it’s honesty, it’s whatever works for you two as a couple. Does love at first sight exist? I think it does but love at first sight does not always mean love forever. What are your thoughts?

Today I posted this message on my Facebook page:

Too many people confuse great sex with being in love and end up getting their feelings hurt. Enter your relationship like it’s a gift box wrapped in layers of bows that make up the essentials of your relationship. As each bow is removed you will get closer to your surprise. Inside will be the pleasure that you seek which is now even greater because you took your time to unwrap it instead of ripping it apart. – Nisha Yvette

Allow me to elaborate:

You meet a guy. He is physically attractive. You seem to have a connection. You sleep together. The sex becomes regular but the time spent getting to know one another is very minimal. You think about this person daily but only in a sexual way. You realize that you really don’t know this person because you’ve haven’t kicked it enough outside the bedroom for that to happen. However, you tell yourself that you must love him in spite of not knowing him completely just because of the strong connection you have in the bedroom.

Some women seem to give themselves up so freely to men who know how to talk the talk. Instead of taking our time in getting to know him you think that the sooner you have sex with him the sooner he will know how committed you are to him. Days and weeks go by and as the sex becomes regular you realize that although there is definitely physical chemistry there was no emotional connection. You were giving him the gift without a commitment. Women have the tendency to get attached to a man just because we sleep with them. Some men, on the other hand, just love experiencing pleasure even when there is no connection. Instead of rushing to sleep with someone only to find out that you have nothing in common but sex, try connecting with that person on another level to see where their state of mind is before you completely give yourself up to him and get your feelings heart. Do things that will allow you to really get to know who he is and what he is all about. Temptation can play on your emotions so if you really think that this person is someone you would want a full time commitment with then discipline yourself and not put yourself in situations where you can fall into a sex trap. Once you and this man connect mentally and emotionally maybe then you could take it to that next level of intimacy.